My God, It’s Full of Stars…

Ok, I have almost, but not quite, come to terms with the unnatural love affair I have with computers in general, and my new laptop in particular.

The laptop in question looks basically like this:

Which I think you’ll agree bears a not-so-coincidental resemblance to this:

The picture doesn’t do justice to the hugeness of it, or the way it’s cold, adonized aluminum shell feels under the palm of your hand.  I am aware that since I do a lot of my writing in Notepad that the monolith provides more computing power than is strictly necessary, but it’s nice to know that it’s in there, ready to perform should I need it.  All of the hatred I feel for my burner is mirrored as love for this metal monstrosity.  I’m not saying that when it arrived I licked the packaging off of it the way a cow licks the afterbirth from a newborn calf, but I’m not saying I didn’t, either.

I’m also not saying I value my new laptop more than, say, a life.  If I were to return home and find my house in flames and my wife frantic in the driveway, I would immediately rush into the flames to save my cats if they were still inside.  They would not be inside, though, because knowing of my love for my laptop, they would have combined their forces like a tiny feline Voltron to collect it, and carry it to safety at the first whiff of smoke.  They would therefore be sitting on the lawn around the monolith, out of harm’s way, awaiting my return.

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